It’s time to write a blog
But I don’t know what to write
I had ideas on paper
That I thought that I just might
Use for future entries
But they were scribbled in such haste
That I don’t understand them
And now they are a waste
Of pen and paper, ink and the like
And all those other things
“No more big boxes” …
Caitlin, what does that even mean?!
So now I’m stuck with nothing
I thought I was prepared
When I see that block labeled “writer’s”
I get so very scared
I could write about the dresser
I’m going to paint all white
I could talk about my days
And how they always turn to night
Or shoes and clothes and girly things
But they don’t get me going
Or how about my jealousy
Of those that can do the sewing?
Maybe I’ll just plagiarize
My hero, Dr. Seuss
One fish, two fish, green eggs and ham
Oh, and Horton hears some Whos
No, that just won’t work, I’d feel so bad
And I would probably be shunned
By my family, my friends, and my current boy
Oh wait, I don’t have one.
Let’s talk about favourite animals
Penguins, if you don’t know mine
What’s yours? I bet it’s the elephant
Those tusks are hella fine.
I’m finished school, so we don’t have that
Now all I do is work
Full time, whether I like it or not
And I really don’t want to talk about that because it makes me sad and you don’t want me to be sad now do you…. jerk.
Maybe I’ll talk about books
You know, things I like to read
Sedaris, Fitzgerald, Hemingway
But no Dickens, dear god no, please!
Or we could just talk about you
Because you are looking great
How’s your family, your wife, your kids?
Hey, do you believe in fate?
I do. Kind of. I’m not sure.
Let’s get on that, let’s talk.
No, too heavy, moving on…
Don’t you miss sidewalk chalk?
Clearly I’m just reaching now
In fairness, I was from the start
But I could still talk about anatomy
Brains, bones, blood, and heart.
Gross, no, too much to learn
And biology was not my friend.
But this is not a place for failures!
This is my blog, where I can pretend
That I never do anything wrong
And if I do, it’s done with style
See, I didn’t even have anything to write today
But I’ve still gone on awhile.
So maybe, before I really show flaws
And I have nothing else important to say.
I’ll end it, but aren’t you glad you stopped by
And wasted this entire part of your day?
And you’ll never get it back.