My best friend is about to have a baby. And by about to have a baby, I really mean just that. Currently in labour, waiting for her contractions to get close enough together to go to the hospital. Really about to have a baby.
I read a post on Thought Catalog once that was called something like, “Things People Don’t Tell You About Your 20s”. I figured I should read it in case I needed to gain a little insight that I never had. One of the numbered posts was, “People will say that when they get married or have kids your friendship won’t change but it will.” It continued on with what I saw as a self-pitying and unrelenting attack at the newly married or parented friend. It spoke about how they’re “always busy” without you now and how you have nothing in common with them anymore. I felt it was a little unfair, a lot biased, and clearly this person had not wanted to make any effort to understand and accept the obvious changes that would occur.
I know the friendship between me and my best friend will no longer be the same. I’d be stupid to think it. We can’t just pick up and go anywhere anymore, go out and get drunk on a Wednesday if we feel like it, or drive around at night for three hours just because we want to. On top of that, even if we did decide to do that, I’m pretty sure her boyfriend would not be overly impressed when we got back.
I don’t think any of this is a bad thing.
I’ve been so excited for her and have done my best throughout the last eight months or so to be there the best I can. Sometimes I’m a little baby illiterate and had to ask questions that many grown women wouldn’t need to, but she was always patient. We’ve ooh-ed and aah-ed over baby clothes, strollers, carriers, and blankets. I did that because I felt that way, not because I was indulging her. I have yet to feel anything but happy for her and her boyfriend.
They say that the way you start your New Years is the way you spend the rest of your year. For the first time in a long time I spent it without my best friend by my side due to other plans, work, etc. While she was being responsible and working and watching out for drunk kids, I was that irresponsible drunk kid wandering Toronto. Whoever first said that your New Years dictates your year wasn’t too far off by any means. I’m not saying that I’m going to continually be the irresponsible drunk kid, but in the face of moving in with a boyfriend and having a baby, I’m pretty sure that I’m nowhere near the stage that she’s at. And all that means is that she’s going to have other responsibilities, other duties, and other loves.
I’m not being replaced, I’m not being bumped out, and I know she would never forget about me. I do know that she’s going to be an amazing mom, her baby girl has an amazing father, and for one of the first times that she’s facing a major life change I’m not the first person that needs to be by her side.
In an odd way, I like it. All it means is that we have somehow succeeded in growing up, in her ability to so effortlessly fit everything into her life without making anyone feel left behind, and in my ability to understand that things are going to change but I don’t feel the need to be a snivelly bitch about it.
I love my best friend. I love her boyfriend. And I love their little girl so much already without ever having met her. I keep telling my friend that if her daughter is anything like her, she’s going to have a little force to reckon with. That’s not a bad thing. It just means she’s going to be raising a strong, loving, beautiful, intelligent, and determined little girl, just like her.
My best friend is about to have a baby.
I am so excited for every single change that’s about to take place.