I’ve been back for a week now and I’m feeling good. I’ve seemed to transition back in to Toronto time with relative ease, minus the couple of nights where six o’clock came around and I couldn’t have felt more tired if I had taken a double dose of Benadryl with a side of melatonin. Other than that, no complaints.
It’s been surprisingly easy to come back and settle back into the life I was living before I went away. I was worried I would come back and feel like I was missing something or that I was suddenly selling myself short after seeing all the wonderful things I did in Ireland, but it never happened. In all honesty, I think being away alone gave me such a huge appreciation for where I come from and the people that make it home that I couldn’t have possibly missed any place more than them.
I’ve noticed that I’m generally calmer and happier right now. I’m back in to the manager life at the cafe and even when people do things that two months ago would have made me want to pull my hair out, now it just kind of makes me smile, shrug, and go, “Ah, so you’re doing that now, are you?”
And that’s about it.
Speaking of hair, I also chopped all of mine off and it’s an average of two inches long, I’d say. Last night was the first time someone told me that they liked my hair better long to which I pointed at my face and said, “This is my care face. See how it doesn’t look like it cares at all?”
… I’m pretty sure his sudden ceasing of the sharing of his opinion is a good sign that he understood.
I love knowing for sure that this is my home. I love knowing that I can go away and see things that make my soul feel like it’s going to burst and bring tears to my eyes but can still never rival what this city does for me. I think it’s funny, because people tell you that traveling will change you which is one hundred percent true, but it’s interesting when the change that occurs is simply stripping away any doubt and leaving you with the honest love of what you have.
What a great feeling. I’m so looking forward to this summer.