a beautiful life.

I am sitting comfortably, thinking about my life. On the stereo is an album given to me by a band I met in Ireland during a music festival in Kilkenny. We bonded over Ryan Adams and they played their songs while a man nearby scraped the excess foam off the top of his Guinness, doing nothing to hide his disgust at the bad pour. As my mind moves from that moment onwards I feel an onslaught of wonderful memories coming my way. I held those new babies, those tiny new babies. Birthdays, promotions, lessons learned. Plane rides, green hills, good beer, amazing people, tears of happiness, tears of sadness, tears of empathy. Hair cuts, new apartment, feeling excited, feeling depressed, feeling too much sometimes and too little others. Moving forward, moving backward, always surrounded by those who never left. Seeing that face, those eyes, for the first time, locking his bike up, I spilled a coffee on an old man at work that day and that’s what I told him, falling in love before he kissed me. Engagements, wedding dresses, feeling beyond happy for the girl who has never let me down. Another new apartment, a cat, making dinner, his arms around me. Tea with my best friend, wiping away tears from the loveliest coworker’s face, realizing you’re never alone, feeling the way you felt in Ireland again, feeling alive. Looking around, looking behind, knowing who you are, who you’re becoming, who you want with you. Having nothing, having everything, all because the love has always been there, you have so much.

Yes, I have a beautiful life.

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