I have documented my life in journals for as long as I can remember. Whenever I come across one of these gems from years ago I end up sitting and reading it through, cover to cover, having an extremely good laugh. I’ll never forget finding my kindergarten journal which contained such interesting tidbits as, “Today I used a magnet” and “Once I had a horse”. I never had a horse but I’m sure I had used a magnet by that point in my life.
Today while organizing the bookshelf I found a journal I was keeping from what looks like grade two until grade five. I did not religiously write in this, since there are maybe forty entries for three years of my life but the contents of these entries are brilliant. Ten year old me had no idea what she was creating but if I could go back I would tell her that while she thinks she is writing very serious, heartfelt entries she is actually constructing comedic gold.
Here I will share with you some of my favourites (complete with any spelling and grammar mistakes) and will attempt to give back-story when possible. I hope you see the wonder in these that I do.
March 30, 1997
“I like Easter. Easter came early this year usally it comes in April but this year it came at the end of March. We always get to go on an Easter egg hunt in our house and we always have tons of chocolate left over. I guess that’s all I have to say about Easter.”
If you were ever wondering about the history, importance, and wonderful family time that is Easter.
April 24, 1997
“After the grade three testing and Mrs. Pahwa told us we would be starting insects again the girls moaned. I felt like saying “Hey girls! Insects aren’t gross, boring or anything like that. You have to sort of get into the subject before you can say like they’re boring or somthing!”
If only I had looked back through my notebooks when deciding what to do with my life, clearly I was meant to be an entymologist.
April 27, 1997
“On Friday we got the tape Bacstreet boys. Heres a part of It: You’re the one for me you’re by extisy.”
This was extremely important to document, so important that I couldn’t even take the time to look up the spelling of ecstasy.
October 20, 1997
“I wrote a note to Holly asking if she had a Boyfriend. She wrote me back saying she didn’t. We were where Holly wrote her notes and Danielle read the note and started to laugh and said that’s practilly what she wrote. They wouldn’t let me read what she wrote, so when I was packing up Holly’s letter, I was looking for the letter Danielle wrote, then I found it. It said: Dear Holly, Are you going to tell Jeff you like him? Write back! From Danielle
Holly lied to me!”
This shows a few very important things:
1. I have always been a snoop and think everything is my business. This is shameful but also highly convenient.
2. I have no idea what I’m talking about here. Where were we writing these letters? Why did we have particular places where we wrote them? Who is Jeff?
3. I had no clue what it meant to have a boyfriend.
January 27, 1998
“Even is such a whiner! I can’t believe I even liked him! Once he started crying because he got beaten by a grade three in times tables around the world. Isn’t that pathetic! … But now a girl in my class named Stacee-Ann likes Evan. I know this because Stacee told Jessica, who told Evan, who told Scott, who told me and Neel. Boys can be really dum sometimes!”
Young Caitlin had no time for whiny bitches, okay? Also she really paid attention to the gossip mill. I totally am a Nosy Nancy. Also, young Caitlin: learn to spell “dumb” before you call people “dumb”… Glass houses and all.
February 12, 1998
“I like doing art. So far, my favourite type of art is Post impressonism and pop art. I think Pop art is the best though.”
Some things never change.
“I dream I’m part of my favourite band HANSON. Other times, I dream I volunteer at an Animal Rescue Station, and have LOTS of pets. It is fun to dream to me, for others, it’s wimpy.”
September 27, 1998
This one you just have to see to understand:
May 28, 1999
Graeme, a boy in my class likes me soooooo much! It is a bit flattering for someone to hug you everyday and tell you you’re beautiful. The thing is, I like him back. I know that that is not a bad thing, but, the bad thing is, he knows! Actually, everybody knows. They are always asking stupid questions like “has Graeme ‘screwed’ you yet? I hate that!”
Exemplifying my lack of desire for others to know my true feelings and also that at some point that year I learned how to put quotation marks within a quotation.
June 3, 1999
“Graeme proposed to me today. It was actually pretty sweet. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said … YES!! I can’t believe I actually said yes!”
As Billy Joel once said, “Everyone said they were crazy, Brenda you know that you’re much too lazy and Eddy can never afford to live that kind of life.’
June 9, 1999
“I’m going to tell the people I know that have internet to go on it. Then we can talk over the internet instead. Maybe I’ll tell Graeme to go on it. Then I don’t have to spend an hour holding the phone to my ear.”
This is regarding a Hanson chatroom my friend showed me. If only I knew then how the internet can destroy perfectly good relationships.
December 12, 2000
“As you can tell from the last couple of pages*, I now hate Oddy. He asks me too many personal things and it gets really annoying sometimes. He doesn’t understand.
But after someone new now! His name is Nathaniel Underhill, and he is SO hot! He’s a bit taller than me, has blonde hair and either blue or brown eyes**. He is really funny and nice, too. He sat beside me in typing and stood beside me in the class photo. Oh how hot he is!”
*The last couple of pages had “I hate Oddy scrawled across them in maniacal writing
**True love means not even noticing eye colour, you see.
To finish this post off, I will leave you with some beautiful drawings also contained in the journal. They are symbols of my clearly budding “Pop art” career.