new beginnings.

It has certainly been awhile.

It’s not so much that I’ve forgotten about this blog – in fact it’s been on my mind a lot lately. I’ve just been finding it a little difficult to reconcile what I’ve written in the past with how I’m feeling lately. The two just don’t seem to agree, and that’s made it increasingly difficult to find something to write about.

You see, I was angry for a very long time. I was angry and sad and lost and confused. I had a lot to say and a lot of it was negative. I wrote about my beliefs, which I still have and hold dearly, but I often wrote about them in an angry, sad, lost, and confused way. I came here to vent and to grieve and to understand and to find connections when I felt alone. It’s not that I don’t need those things anymore, I think we all do at times, but I’m just not feeling the need to be so damned angry these days. In fact, I’m working really hard not to be.

Awhile ago I gave this blog new life by doing some book reviews. That was fun for awhile but I realized pretty quickly that it was becoming a lot of me telling you that I read a book and I liked it. I’m not going to stop talking about the books I read, but I am going to stop trying to review them. Instead, I’m going to talk about what I’ve read lately and how it made me feel. You know, a simple conversation sort of thing.

I’m going to breathe new life into this baby one more time. I am ready to talk about my life, and about me, in a new way. I’ve made huge strides in the last year in regards to becoming the person I want to be. I am healthier than I ever have been, and I’ve worked really hard to battle my demons. I’m not nearly finished with the work that must be done and that’s why I’ve come back to this blog.

I feel that I’ve learned a lot about myself, and the people around me, in the last year and I want to share that knowledge with you. I want to share what’s worked for me, how I’ve overcome some difficult moments, and what I’m doing now to improve. I’ll talk about my love of food and cooking, which might take a bit longer as I’m currently on day 2 of the Whole30 program (which I’m sure I’ll be telling you all about soon, as well).

Basically, I’m going to just talk. I hope you want to listen. And I hope you find something that works for you. I hope that maybe we can learn from each other, as well. And I hope that you’ll bear with me as I reorganize and reinvent this page.

And above all else, I want to thank you again for taking your time to be a part of my life, one post at a time.


2 thoughts on “new beginnings.

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